Am I Going Nuts??

It is currently 11:29 p.m. and in just a few short hours, our plane leaves for Houston and, ultimately Mexico. I should be in bed but I am finding myself in an unexpected situation where I am second guessing our decision to take this vacation.

The reason why I think I may be going insane is that Bryan and I have talked about going back to Mexico for almost four years. It's something we've worked really hard to make happen and I've been looking forward to it for what seems like forever. It will provide us with some much-needed relaxation and time together without the stress of our every day lives.

So, why the doubts? One word--Jonathan. This little guy has been the highlight of my life from the moment I knew of his existence (which was pretty darn early because I am a planner and I knew I was pregnant two weeks into it). I KNOW my mother is incredible and that she would rather cut off an arm than to allow anything to happen to Jonathan. I KNOW that he will be completely OK without his mommy for five days.

The problem is that I don't know that I will be. Jonathan is so entwined in me and who I am as a person that I feel so odd to think about this separation. Although I've been away from Jonathan on short trips, an overnight has been about the extent of it. Even though I know this trip will be so helpful to my relationship with Bryan, I feel incredibly sad when I think about getting on that plane in the morning. I guess all this is just hitting me last minute and I just didn't see it coming! My mother and Bryan and Jonathan (0f course) are already in bed and as I was brushing my teeth I totally started crying.

Honestly, I do think that Bryan and I will have a wonderful time, I just had no idea that it would be physically painful to be separated from my baby. I'm sure some of y'all out there have felt the same way, right?? Anyway, I definitely feel better getting that off my chest. I think Bryan would think that it was silly and I would probably have made my mom cry, so it's actually probably better that they are already in bed. I promise to do my next post on a more upbeat note as I am certain my outlook on everything will have completely changed by then!

So now I'M it!

Thanks, Andrea, for giving Heather the bright idea to Tag me, just in case it wasn't already in her head to do it! Here goes:

Four Jobs I Have Had:

Dairy Queen chick

Gap Sales Associate (SOOOO boring!)

Bartender

Attorney

Four Movies I Would Watch Over and Over:

Anchorman

Legally Blond

Office Space

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Four Places I Have Lived:

(I actually only have two...)

Scott Depot, WV

Louisville, KY

Four Favorite Bands and Singers:

Jimmy Buffett

Coldplay

Ben Folds

Christina Aquilera (Heather, I'm totally with you on this one!!)

Four Loves of My Life:

Jonathan

Bryan

My mother

My sister, Laura (it took us a LONG time to get to this point!)

Four Most Memorable Moments:

Giving birth to Jonathan

Getting married to Bryan

Finding out that I passed the bar exam

Finding out that I got a full scholarship to college

Four Favorite Foods:

Sushi

Nachos

Little Debbie Cakes

Steak

Four Places I Would Rather Be:

MEXICO (oh, wait! That's tomorrow!!)

Anywhere but my desk

At home, where my mother is right this second

At a bar sitting outside having a cocktail

This was really fun, so I guess being tagged isn't so bad after all! The picture may be the saddest little boy ever dressed in Batman pyjamas. He decided to throw a thirty minute tantrum recently so I thought I could use this pic in the future to embarass him!

See y'all next week!!

Sick Bed Update

So I was able to get Jonathan a doctor's appointment at nine today and my worries were dead on--he has strep! In an interesting turn of events, however, it's in his nose and actually not in his throat. Weird, huh? Apparently it can get into any opening in the body, which I totally did not know, but I guess that's why I'm not a doctor (among many other reasons!).

Now I feel a LITTLE less guilty about going on vacay this week. J-man will be on amoxicillian a/k/a "the pink stuff" for the next ten days, but he loves it so I know my mother won't have any problem getting him to take it. Also, I feel oddly better that he will be on antibiotics as I feel like it will reduce the chances of him coming down with something else while we're gone.

Besides that fact that I hate to have the little guy be sick, another thing that makes me ill is that this means Jonathan will only go to school on Wednesday of this week. Nana will keep him all day tomorrow and my mom will have him Thursday and Friday. Which means that the obscene amount of money we pay for Jonathan's weekly "tuition" will, at least for this week, be for just one day. Ugh.

Sick Day :(

OK, so yesterday I blogged about "Mommy Confessions" and I think one of them may have come back to bite me in the butt, namely the one about not feeling guilty about my Mexican rendezvous with Bryan later this week.

So, Saturday, Jonathan was pretty crabby, even for an almost two year old, which I thought was a bit odd, but not unusual. It came around to dinner time, however, and I gave him his dinner (Tyson, thank you again!!) and touched his cheek in passing. He felt blazing hot but I wasn't too concerned because it was over 80 degrees here yesterday and we don't have the air running just yet. However, I decided to go ahead and take his temperature and was surprised to see it was around 102. Not good, particularly combined with the fact that he had a rash on his chest that was sort-of sand-papery. I immediately thought it could be strep since I just read through the symptoms after one of the other toddler's at Jonathan's school had a confirmed case of strep and they'd posted the symptoms on the door.

Anyway, I gave him some ibuprofen and checked on him a couple of times and he seemed OK. So he got up today, Sunday, and, although still crabby, he seemed better. No fever. I did, however, call a friend of ours to cancel a play date as I certainly didn't want to share anything with other kids. We did our usual Sunday grocery shopping and Jonathan didn't eat the cookie at Kroger. Major red flag as that kid has a MAJOR sweet tooth. We came home and he took a decent nap, then it was off to Stride Rite for sandals and then a trip to the park. All afternoon, he was still whiny and out of sorts. We got home late afternoon and at bath time, the rash was back. I took his temperature and it was almost 102 again. This was around five, so I gave him more ibuprofen and tried unsuccessfully to eat dinner. He was just completely zonked, so we put him to bed just after six.

So now I'm totally worried that he has strep or something worse, and I feel horribly guilty about NOT feeling guilty about our trip earlier this week. I know that sounds a bit neurotic, but isn't that how the whole mommy guilt thing works?? So I called my mother in law Pat (who is a complete saint, BTW) to see if she could come over tomorrow morning because both Bryan and I have work obligations in the morning that are unavoidable. Insert more guilt here. I am hoping, however, that I can get my 9:00 am idiot criminal defendant to take the plea that he's needed to take for four months now so I can get out of there and meet Pat at the doctor's office around 9:30 a.m.

Needless to say, definitely not the best weekend, but I know that even if it's just a virus, there is no way I can go anywhere this week without some sort of reassurance from the doctor. I wish it were tomorrow morning already since it's early evening now and the morning seems forever away...

Mommy Confessions

I'm totally inspired by Heather's and Andrea's confessions, so I thought I would throw some of my own out there. It's a perfect time, really, since I am pretty much confined to our living room until J-man decides it is in fact nap time and stops shouting "Mommy" from his bedroom.

1. Frozen Tyson chicken nuggets are truly a god-send and my son eats entirely too many of them. He also drinks entirely too much juice.

2. I have an obsession with Gymboree clothing and secretly think I should work there one day a month so I can get the 40% discount.

3. I, like Heather, sometimes fantasize what my life would be like without a child. It's mostly financial fantasies, and that makes me feel guilty. Then, however, I see the face in the picture above and I remember why people have children.

4. I truly enjoy my time alone in the bathroom and actually look forward to it.

5. I love that Jonathan goes to bed by seven each night, but I feel guilty because that means I only see him for a short while on weekdays.

6. Sometimes on Sunday afternoons, I find myself actually looking forward to going to work on Monday.

7. I am already giving serious consideration to where I will send Jonathan to kindergarten.

8. I worry my son is a midget and the doctor is just not telling me. I would honestly still love him anyway.

9. I am so excited about spending four days in Mexico next week alone with my husband that I can hardly contain myself, even though I KNOW everyone is tired of hearing about it. I think that I should feel guilty about being away from Jonathan, but I don't really, although I do think that I will miss him.

10. I worry that Jonathan will turn out messed up and it will all be my fault. It's always the mother's fault. When Britney Spears had her meltdown recently, the first thing I thought was "where is her mother?"

I'm sure there are more secrets in there, but I'll have to save those for another time!!

Wiggles!!

This is a picture of Jonathan at the Wiggles concert last month. Since he was completely excited about the Wiggles, I really couldn't get a very good picture of him. We were about six rows back from the stage, dead center. It was pretty incredible and I must say it was ALMOST as enjoyable as a Buffett show.

I felt like I needed to blog about the Wiggles today because I think both Jonathan and I have a problem. It is a not-so-well kept secret that I have a crush on Anthony the Blue Wiggle. You know how some couples have a celebrity who could show up at their door and any indiscrepancies would be forgiven? For me, that's Anthony Wiggle. Honestly, I need intervention.

This problem came to a head this morning when I hit the "My DVR" button on our remote to turn on Wiggles for Jonathan. Usually, we watch Wiggles on live tv, but my darling son decided to sleep until 7:40 this morning, which NEVER happens. So, thanks to the miracle that is DVR, we were able to watch the Wiggles at our leisure. Well, upon pulling up today's episode, I realized that it was a new episode, which means that I actually hadn't seen it 47 times already. Unfortunately, I was not able to sit down and watch it because I had to get ready for work. That made me very sad and that is when I came to the realization that I need an intervention as mentioned above.

Hopefully there are others out there who share my problem. I currently covet the Wiggles Big Red Car Toddler Bed that apparently you can't get in the United States. The amount of agony this causes me is definitely not healthy, but is it really worth getting a divorce over? Hmmm....

The Fantoni Clan

Here's a picture of the happy family. Admittedly, I'm looking a bit rough here, but it's really difficult to get a picture of all three of us. The self portrait is really the way to go and my husband is a big fan, as you can tell by his expression!!

Introduction!!

I just happened upon a mommy blog of someone I know tangentally through a friend and I thought--what a wonderful idea!! So I've decided to create one of my own so I can share some of the awesome things about my life and also get some input from others out there about some not-so-awesome things that happen!!

For starters, I am 29 and live in Louisville, KY. I have been married to my incredible husband for going on four years and we have a son, Jonathan, who is 20 months old. I am also an attorney in a small firm where I practice in a large variety of areas of law, but particulary civil litigation defense, divorce and misdemeanor criminal defense. I can't say I love it, but it pays the bills.

My real passion is my family. I LOVE being a mother and think it's absolutely the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me! Right now, I am thrilled to focus my energies on Jonathan, but I am definitely considering adding to the Fantoni crew sometime in the fairly distant future.

Unfortunately, with work and family life, it's really hard to keep up with all the people who are important to me. I have a job where I am literally on the phone for several hours a day, so I pretty much detest talking on the phone during my off time. Since I am on the phone a good deal, however, I necessarily spend A LOT of time in front of my computer, which (I hope) will lend to blogging on at least a fairly regular basis. I'm really excited about embarking on this project and I hope to meet some cool new people as well as keep in touch with family and friends.