I'm not a sappy person by nature, but today has been a really difficult one and I'm feeling a bit sentimental. You see, Bryan and I had to have Alice, our female chihuahua, put to sleep today. It was an extremely hard thing to do, but we truly had no other choice as we found out that she had kidney failure. There was simply no other option as we could not stand to see her suffer. Her health had faltered over the last six months or so and we did not want to see her deteriorate any further. Although we are confident it was the right decision, we are both in a good deal of pain right now.
I was with Alice when she died and I recalled a poem that someone sent to me after my first chihuahua, Poncho, was irreparably wounded just over six years ago. Of course, I did not recall the exact words, but I remembered the gist of it and it brought me a good deal of comfort as I held Alice in my arms this afternoon as she passed away. I found it online and have reprinted it below:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Bryan and I are hurting so much right now. Although we suspected this day may come in the not-so-distant future, we had no idea when I took Alice to the vet this morning that the day we feared would be today. Alice was our sweet baby, our Chihuahua rescue who appreciated every little thing we did for her since she spent so many years in an abusive home. We loved her and she was truly a part of our family for the four and a half years that she spent with us.
This day has been so hard, but I am trying to draw comfort from the fact that we were able to give her a good life and that she knew she was loved. I just wish making the right decision didn't make me feel like such an awful person. I know logically, unfortunately from past experience, that this will get easier and that we will feel better, but I'm just having a hard time convincing myself of that right now.
Leaf it alone...
3 days ago